Michael Myers unmasked in alternate Halloween II ending

Terrible movie gets terrible alternate ending even worse than the terrible one you'll see on the terrible DVD. See it here!

Review: The Descent: Part II

Although the premise of these films involves groups of people going very much in a downwards direction, this sequel has one hell of an upward journey if it is to match the sheer tension and claustrophobia of Neil Marshall's 2005 original.

Review: Paranormal Activity

What happens when you sleep? So asked Israeli-born filmmaker Oren Peli, who, after moving into a suburban San Diego tract house, discovered that odd, unsettling things began to occur in the house. Books inexplicably fell off of shelves. Strange noises were heard in the night… but whereas lesser mortals may have called in a priest or even a Ghostbuster, Peli thought that living in a spook house might make for a nice little horror flick.

Review: Saw VI

Watching Saw movies at the cinema is like my own personal form of self-abuse. I hate them, but I can't stop watching them. They are resolutely terrible from start to finish, but I look forward to disliking them, and enjoy writing about how bad they are. Perhaps it's my turn to be put into a torture trap for being a cog in this ever-turning wheel of cine-shit.

Review: Halloween II

Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Sliced, diced and buried. Friday The 13th? Unlucky for all. A Nightmare On Elm Street? Marked for death. The recent stab of horror remakes have certainly yielded grisly results.

Review: Sorority Row

Some films require endless analysis to be understood and appreciated; others merely require consumption. Sorority Row is most definitely the latter. Very little effort was put into writing and shooting it, so very little effort will be put into reviewing it.

Review: The Final Destination

There's a simple formula to stick to when making a Final Destination movie. One: find yourself some young, unknown American TV actors. Two: one of them must have a gruesome vision of their own death, dragging their mates down with them. Three: they cheat death. Four: the ol' Grim Reaper starts picking them off one by one in various weird and wonderful ways. And if you fancy it, throw in some boobs. Roll credits.

Review: A Perfect Getaway

I'm not sure what to make of David Twohy. The man is responsible for Critters 2: The Main Course, Waterworld, G.I. Jane and The Chronicles of Riddick (and unleashing Vin Diesel onto an unsuspecting world, damn it). One might despise him for these vile offences, nay, not just despise, but secretly wish to haul him into the Hague for crimes against humanity.

Review: The Last House On The Left

There's something off-putting about the current brand of horror remakes. The movies that are being refitted from the seventies and eighties are ones whose names still resonate today, due to the controversy they caused at the time (see: The Hills Have Eyes, Friday The 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre etc.) But the so-called 'video n...

Review: Drag Me To Hell

Firstly, the spider-shaped elephant in the room. Spider-Man 3 kinda blew. There, we said it – our 3-star review be damned. Frankly it could have been made by any studio hack – the fact that it was made by Sam Raimi, a man who regularly used to work outside and around studio boundaries to great effect, made it an overblown advent...